fallen from grace

eh. not really feelin too good lately. tax time really takes a big toll on me, especially when i'm broke. not to mention i took that Udon rejection a little harder than i expected. went through the usual motions like "i'm not good enough" or "i should just quit and go back to a desk job" or "there's no point in me trying to get better because it will never happen." again, the usual. so i decided to draw something for myself that's a bit more emotive and self-expressive. out came the sketch above, tentatively called "fallen from grace." just sort of what i'm feelin. obviously it's not all deep but that's what i felt.
i'm starting to use photo references because my stuff really lacks that realism that i would like to eventually achieve. i've been reading the ImagineFX magazines lately and these great digital artists use photo references all the time. i've read some artists' comments on deviant about how they think people who use references for poses and such are cheating and can't make up stuff on their own hence questioning their creativity. but i'll just be blunt and say that's stupid. what the heck are models for?!? it's necessary to study lights, shadows, textures and folds in your subject matter and since i don't have naked ladies just prancing around the house (sorry guys), i gotta do what i can to get reference. luckily for me, deviant's got lots of photographers and some of those photos are amazingly lit and composed. really helps me set my own moods when i draw it. (did i mention that those ignorant folks that don't believe in photo references are also the ones with the some of the most anatomically-incorrect drawings of people??) i'm hoping someday i'll get good enough that i won't need it, but i seriously doubt it. we can always get better.
i'm also trying to see if i can draw straight in photoshop from start to finish. i've never been able to do it before because the surface of the tablet is too smooth. the lack of friction between the tablet and the pen causes it to pick up all of my hand shakys. but i've been practicing and this is what i've got so far of a Nariko piece i'd like to get somewhere with. again, i've got a photo reference. Nariko is from the game Heavenly Sword. not too shabby for a first (real) try.